so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
