everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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