It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
