She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
