Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
