Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I licked your asshole in confidence.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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