i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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