Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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