Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
