I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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