where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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