Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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