We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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