all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
