Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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