I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
