You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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