If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
