you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
