i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
