he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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