The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
