I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
