im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
