My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
