I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
