His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
