I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
