I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
