Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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