i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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