i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
