she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
