Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
