apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
