It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
