I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just high enough for therapy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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