just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
