Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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