And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
