id be glad to
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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