I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
