halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
