Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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