i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
