Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You need Xanax blowdarts
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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