I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
