Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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