oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
