i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
