He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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