Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
